Musings of A Woman in Ministry: That Family
As we kick off Women’s History Month, guest blogger JaEl has come to share her thoughts on being a woman in ministry. As you read, especially if you too, are a woman in ministry, meditate on your own experiences (and struggles) of being a Christian woman.
Lady Mel
Every church has THAT FAMILY!
No, not that one, the other family. A family of several generations. They hold no official title or office. But they have a heart for the pastor. For me it was the “Smiths”. They provided the love and support this young pastor didn’t even know she needed.
Nicknamed “The Church from Hell”, my first appointment was worse than I realized. They welcomed me to the parsonage by flinging open the door and saying, ‘Welcome to your new home’.
I didn’t have enough sense to complain. I just figured the members lacked home training and that the condition of the parsonage was similar to that of their homes.
The house was a wreck. The bed was unmade, as if someone had jumped out of it minutes ago. Towels and used face cloths in the bathroom, dishes on the kitchen table, dirty dishes in the sink and partially eaten food in the refrigerator. I let them know that I would be back on Wednesday for Bible Study and at that time I would be moving in to the parsonage.
They didn’t get the hint!
On that Wednesday my parents and I made our way to town. I received the keys and moved into a mess. My mother asked, ‘Now what are you going to do?’ I said ‘I’m going to the store we passed, get some cleaning supplies and clean this place.’
A few weeks later I held a meeting with the Trustees in a pristine parsonage. As we discussed the affairs of the church, I asked them to never allow another pastor to move into the parsonage in the condition I found it in; to take pride in themselves and the property that had been entrusted to them.
Months later I learned that their stunt with the parsonage was intended to discourage me. As it turned out they did not want me or any other woman as their pastor.
Before I arrived, they had discussed locking me out. By November they had convinced the Presiding Elder that pastoring was not what I had envisioned it to be. They managed to convince him that the things they had done to me were things I had done to them.
But they really didn’t know me. And they miscalculated my strength and my resolve. All I tried to do was love them. They were unable to receive it at that time.
It's still painful to think that we can hate someone without even knowing them. I shed a lot of tears in that pastorate. I also learned a lot about myself and about God.
Side Note: Dealing with Church Hurt? Click here!
One of my dear friends reminded me that my present circumstances were not a reflection of God’s displeasure with me, or of God’s punishment. She reminded me that God IS for me. When we are in our challenges and struggles with God, God is pulling for us and believes in us.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31, NIV
I also learned that even in the most difficult and challenging situations and seasons of life, God always has “That Family” waiting to receive you. That one member, or neighbor, or relative who will come a long side of you, walk with you and remind you of God’s love.
For several months the congregation continued their lack of support and disinterest in the ministry. But through it all the “Smith” family was a great source of love, warmth, and fun.
Mom, her daughter, and grandchildren were such a blessing and a joy. 20 years and several pastorates later, they remain “That Family” for me.
God has blessed me to have such a family in each pastorate that followed.
And for that I am grateful!
“What has been your experiences as a Woman In Ministry? Has God ever allowed you to cross paths with “That Family”? Please share in the comments and encourage another woman. ”
