Ask The Preacher’s Wife: How Can I Grow My Faith During This Pandemic?
“Dear Lady Mel,
This pandemic has been hell! I feel as if I’ve completely been disconnected from God and I know that my faith has taken a huge toll.
Of course, I still love God, but I am distracted. Our church has changed so much and I don’t even watch anymore. My pastor and I had a huge falling out and I am seriously considering leaving. I barely pray anymore.
I feel like I’m a mess and I’m losing this battle. Help!”
Hey Jay,
Bro, if I can be transparent, this Covid pandemic has definitely taken a toll on my spiritual well-being as well. Panic during the early days and months was probably an understatement. I watched in horror and probably paranoia as the world shut down, country by country.
As churches fought about who loved Jesus more, and then, finally began to close, the reality of my isolation really sat in.
I was pregnant.
I was miles away from my family.
I was no longer connected to my church family.
I could no longer attend church.
And even now, after nearly 2 years, a new appointment, a new city, and a new home, I still have not been able to get back into the physical building, because I’m very concerned about my 18-month-old daughter (who cannot yet be vaccinated).
As folk have been challenged with church attendance, other folk have completely abandoned the idea of church all together. I can’t begin to list the folk I talk to on a regular basis who have not only decided to skip church, but have also decided to skip Jesus too.
So, let me just set the record straight. WE NEED JESUS! So often, we’ve been led to believe that we can figure it out on our own. If this pandemic has taught me one thing, I’ve learned that a life without Christ is impossible.
It’s time to RECONNECT!
6 Ways To Grow Your Faith
1 You NEED a church home! Yeah, I said it. Listen Fam, I know you haven’t been inside a physical church in years. I get it! I haven’t either. But I’m talking about more than your presence in a physical building.
An important mandate of our Christian faith is to be in community with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25, NRSV
You can’t uphold your faith by being a permanent member of Bedside Baptist. We have a responsibility as Christians to be members of a fellowship of believers. Additionally, when you are outside of the body, you lack spiritual accountability. So, get connected! Your current church may have outgrown your needs. If that’s the case, ask God to help you get connected to a church that will help you grow!
2 I know you’ve probably experienced some church hurt, so have I. Listen, I’ve been hurt by spiritual leaders who probably still very much believe that I am going to hell because I no longer wanted to worship at their church. But, I’ve learned that my connection with Christ is not determined by broken relationships with broken human beings.
I learned to relabel church hurt as people hurt, or the damage that comes when dealing with imperfect people juxtaposed against an erroneous perception that this imperfection has something to do with God. And then…I learned to forgive in order to get reconnected to Jesus.
3 Your spiritual leaders are NOT your saviour. Jesus is. In our spiritual development, we experience a period where our view of God is determined by the way we view our spiritual leaders (as children, this view is based on the child’s parents). This is the time frame where we begin to form our own relationship with Christ, which has nothing to do with the personalities of our spiritual leaders.
You will find that if your church membership, participation, tithes, etc., are based upon your relationship with your pastor, you will slowly find yourself feeling as if you need to move to a new church (I’m AME…I’ve seen it happen!)
The fact of the matter is this; you will always be disappointed when you have god-like expectations for mere human beings. Therefore, as you mature in your faith, God will certainly show you where and how you need to place Christ at the center of your faith, and not your spiritual leaders.
4 Be careful about whose spiritual leadership you are under. Sadly, there are some “preachers” who are preaching versions of the gospel that are inaccurate, and steeped in white supremacy, patriarchy, sexism, and oppression.
And don’t get me started on these preachers who intentionally go into to communities with little resources, armed with a white-washed version of the gospel, and make folk believe if they give more, reach up and grab more, claim more, speak more, manifest more, they will have more. This is a PROSPERITY GOSPEL and it is dangerous and antithetical to the teachings of Christ.
Check your leader’s credentials and trust that God will show you where you need to be.
5 Get a Prayer Life! 5 minutes on the way to work or 10 minutes before you pass out from exhaustion at night is not enough. Just like physical relationships, we need quality time with our Saviour. Take the time to develop the habit of spending time with God, which includes a period reflection and listening.
I know, I know…it’s challenging. But, I am a witness that if you make the time to connect with God, God will BLOW YOUR MIND!
6 Worship is not about you! It’s not about what you wear. It’s not about who is present. It’s not about which choir sings. It’s not about the preacher’s whoop and holler. It’s not about the video quality during virtual service It’s about God!
Note: Listen churches…it’s time to upgrade that video system…it’s looking a bit 80s surveillance camera.
Anyway, I read a book once…and my mom brain is completely preventing me from recalling the name. However, I do remember the passage that talked about our “God-shaped hole”.
Essentially, we were CREATED to worship God. In fact, each of us has a “God-shaped hole” inside of us that longs to be fulfilled. In the same way a circle cannot fit into a square hole, NOTHING can fit into our “God-shaped hole”, BUT GOD!
This has stuck with me for the majority of my adult life. And during the times in life where I am skipping number 5, and trying to do it all on my own, I can feel the void deep inside. It’s in those moments where I must repent and reconnect with God to do what I was created to do to.
There’s no way around it, your desire for God can only be fulfilled through worship.
Well Bro, I pray this has been helpful. There are so many areas we can discuss, but as I think about my own journey, these are the areas that I feel have been most beneficial for me to explore.
There is one more area I think is important…TITHING! Read all about that here!
Praying with you and for you as you reconnect with the One who sustains us.
Lady Mel
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