May 1

May 1 3 Church Urban Legends That You'll Never Hear Mentioned

You can pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, but you know I’m telling the truth!

I’m certain that since the beginning of the church, there have been Urban Legends that church folk have circulated. I’m sure that after Paul wrote to the church of Ephesis, where he instructed the thief to steal no more, the story about who Paul was talking about was circulated for hundreds of years.

I can hear the early church folk now saying things like “You know Apostle Paul was talking about Demetrius’ oldest brother Tim? Yall know Tim, they call him Mookie”. The early church folk probably sat by the well for hours after drawing water recalling the story about that time when Tim aka Mookie, switched his busted sandals with the sandals that belonged to the tax collector, while worship was happening in the temple.

Now yall know that in the black church, after learning the Rules To Remember When Visiting A Black Church, there are some strange urban legends and stories about situations that are sure to raise an eyebrow.

The Disappearing Cake

We know that every single time there is an afternoon service, and the culinary staff prepares a meal, Sis. Carolyn’s famous coconut cake is NOT going to make it to the serving line. Folk will line up anxiously waiting, only to receive a piece of dry Shoprite cake. Where is the cake you ask? It’s a mystery. And the church folk will gather around and ask “What happened to Carolyn’s cake?”, for years to come.

The Leftover Communion Juice

We know that in most churches, Communion Sunday is celebrated on the first Sunday. We consume the sacraments as a reminder of Jesus’s death on the cross. And at times, when the weather is cold, and folk decide they are going to stay home and attend bedside baptist, there are extra cups of communion juice that are left over. Where does it go? Is it being recycled? Do the stewardesses re-bottle it up and take it home? Or do they gather in the back after service to drink 30 cups of grape juice? It’s truly a mystery.

How many women actually come to “500 Women in Red?”

For the last 7 years, Bethel Baptist, Pentecostal, Holiness Church of the Living God hosts their annual 500 Women in Red service. No one has ever seen an official count. BUT, during the remarks moment at every service, Pastor stands up for remarks and says “Look at these beautiful 500 women in red”. The truth is, it looks more like 130 women in shades of red, but again, the real numbers remain a mystery.